Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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