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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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