I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
