Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize