You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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