How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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