Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize