I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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