Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
