I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize