never play flip cup with pint glasses
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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