we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize