the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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