guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
please come you make the beer taste better
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
