She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
