so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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