Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the day after is always just damage control
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
