we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize