That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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