so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize