that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize