Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
