went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They have beer where we have blood.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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