Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
