i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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