I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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