you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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