his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize