I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
