he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
