I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A+ Viking dick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
