watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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