he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
