this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
