hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize