Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
not ubering you a puppy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
