Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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