Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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