I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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