Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
