I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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