Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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