I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
