Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
