he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
