ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
