I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
