Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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