***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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