he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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