dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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