I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
