So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
