After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
